Pat Moe, steadfast educator, wife, mother, friend, advocate, and gardener, died September 28, 2026, at home in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She was 71.

Patricia Jean (Dodge) (Quinlivan) Moe was born July 26, 1955, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, to Judith (Warren) Dodge and Merlin G. Dodge. The second of her parents’ three surviving children, she came to strongly identify with the role of middle child, crediting it, in part, for the independence, determination, and strong sense of self that would characterize her throughout her life.

During childhood, Pat enjoyed playing with her sister, brother, and neighborhood friends. She especially loved to play school and, with encouragement from her parents, established a classroom in her family’s basement, replete with seating, a chalkboard, and basic school supplies. Pat, of course, was the teacher.

A precocious and avid reader, Pat devoured books. She was especially drawn to stories featuring fierce, spirited girls. Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House series became a childhood favorite she returned to throughout her life—and later shared with the two generations that followed her. Pat had fond memories of walking to Horace Mann Elementary School and often spoke of how much she loved her teachers. She later attended Patrick Henry Middle School and Lincoln High School, graduating in 1973.

Before attending college, Pat took a gap year and worked as a laboratory assistant at the Laboratory of Clinical Medicine. Following this experience, she enrolled at the University of Iowa, her father’s alma mater. After one year in Iowa, Pat returned to South Dakota to complete her bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education, which she earned in 1978.

During her time in Vermillion, Pat reconnected with Tom Quinlivan, a young man she had first met in middle school. Pat was drawn to Tom’s quiet charisma and Tom to Pat’s unabashed spirit. Over time, the two fell in love and began a relationship that would shape much of their young and middle adulthood.

After graduating from the University of South Dakota, Pat joined Tom in the Washington, D.C., area, where he was pursuing graduate studies at American University. One evening in their townhome, with sweaty palms and awkward phrasing, Tom proposed marriage to Pat, and she accepted with excitement and relief: “It was about damn time!”

Pat and Tom were married September 20, 1980, at a country chapel just outside Sioux Falls. Their first child, Michael Patrick Quinlivan, was born June 11, 1981. Despite a difficult labor and delivery, Pat’s transition to motherhood was joyful. She described Mike as an easy baby who loved to be close to her and Tom.

After Tom completed his degree, he enrolled in further education at Santa Clara University in San Jose, California, leading the family to make another cross-country move. Drawing on her background in education, Pat operated an at-home daycare, caring for Mike and other neighborhood children.

After Tom completed his second graduate degree, he and Pat returned to Sioux Falls to grow and raise their family. Pat was determined to bring another child into their family, and returning to their hometown bolstered her resolve. Caitlin Elizabeth Quinlivan was born December 22, 1986.

While Pat was already a dedicated and loving mother to Mike, it was during Cait’s infancy that she learned the true definition of maternal patience. When reminiscing about her children’s early childhoods, she often told the story, with loving laughter, that, “If you asked Mike to jump, he’d say, ‘How high and in which direction?’ and if you asked Cait to jump, she’d yell, ‘No!’” Pat loved and celebrated both of her children for exactly who they were.

Pat and Tom agreed that Pat would work within the family’s home as the primary caregiver while Tom began his professional career in medical administration. Pat excelled in this role and provided a structured, enriched, and caring environment for her children and husband.

As generations of caregivers would attest, the work of a parent and spouse is as beautiful as it is unyielding. Pat diapered, bathed, nursed, mended, cooked, coordinated, witnessed, encouraged, disciplined, educated, and celebrated on behalf of her family, day in and day out, for years upon years. While her children are unlikely to have said it enough then, they are endlessly grateful for the innumerable ways in which she supported them.

In the years that followed, Tom and Pat moved their family to Tracy, Minnesota, after Tom accepted a job as Hospital Administrator of the Tracy Hospital, now known as Sanford Tracy Medical Center. The family loved their new friends, neighbors, colleagues, and lake home at Bloody Lake.

Pat quickly built a close circle of friends, worked as a substitute teacher for Tracy Public Schools, and created sizable gardens on their lake property. You could even catch her water skiing from time to time!

While Pat’s midlife brought new and unique opportunities, it was also a period of significant hardship, including the deaths of her mother-in-law Pat, her brother Andy, her father Merlin, and, suddenly, her husband Tom. Pat’s grit and resilience carried her and her family through these difficult losses.

After her brother’s death from AIDS in 1994, Pat channeled her grief and energy into AIDS advocacy through the Rural AIDS Action Network (RAAN) in Minnesota as well as the Berakhah House in Sioux Falls.

Following her husband’s death in 1999, Pat returned to Sioux Falls. During that time, she made the brave choice to pursue her master’s degree in School Counseling at South Dakota State University, a profession to which she brought not only her lifelong love of education, but also the perspective and empathy born of profound personal loss. Pat earned her Master of Arts in School Counseling in 2002 and worked as a substitute school counselor within the Sioux Falls School District.

While Pat held firm to the idea that she was not interested in remarrying, she did take her friends up on the occasional blind date. In 2004, her neighbor suggested Pat meet a friend of hers. Pat agreed to meet him one morning at Bagel Boy, but was deeply offended when her date did not arrive.

Little did she know, her date was sitting at another Bagel Boy location, feeling the same rejection she did.

Fortunately, Pat and Richard rescheduled their first date for Barnes & Noble—the only one in town—and famously spent more than two hours talking. Pat fell in love with Richard’s warmth, intellect, and emotional presence, and Richard fell in love with Pat’s fierce streak, her ability to connect with others, and the levity she brought to life.

After three happy years together, Richard proposed to Pat at the same Barnes & Noble where they had first met. She accepted with jubilation and relief: “It was about damn time”—for the second time.

Pat and Richard were married September 15, 2007 and recently celebrated their 19th wedding anniversary. They remained deeply in love and enjoyed many hobbies together, including traveling, gardening, attending plays, volunteering at Horace Mann Elementary School, and, most of all, spending time with their grandchildren.

The presence of her grandchildren brought deep joy and fulfillment to Pat. She and Richard hosted weekly date nights with their local grandchildren for roughly twelve years, planning special meals, activities, outings, and events. To build a bond with her granddaughter who lived a plane ride away, Pat wrote books and letters, sent care packages, and spoke with her frequently over FaceTime—nearly every day during the COVID-19 pandemic—between in-person visits.

Pat was devoted to her grandchildren and held a deep love for all children. She was known for her ability to instantly and effortlessly connect with them and was celebrated by the Horace Mann Elementary students as the best read-aloud book reader.

In her final days of life, Pat had a wonderful time volunteering with Richard at Horace Mann, looked forward to her fall garden activities, connected with close friends, laughed at her dog’s antics, watched her granddaughter play “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” on the piano over FaceTime, had phone calls with her daughter, enjoyed dinner and time with her son and his children, and held her husband close at night.

Her absence is enormous. We remain grateful for the opportunity to love and be loved by her.

Grateful for having shared her life are her husband, Richard; son, Michael P. Quinlivan, Sioux Falls, SD; daughter, Caitlin E. Quinlivan (Vijay Gorrepati), Austin, TX; grandchildren, Abernathy R. Quinlivan, Sioux Falls, SD, Peter J.A. Quinlivan, Sioux Falls, SD, and Frances Q. Gorrepati, Austin, TX; nephew, James Searles, Baltimore, MD; niece, Nicole Hofstad (Melissa), Pasadena, CA; sister, Lee Ann Hofstad (David), Sioux Falls, SD; aunt, Susan Warren, Negaunee, MI; dear friends, Susan Alverson (Ron), Chester, SD, Mary Wick (Jim), Sioux Falls, SD, and Alisa Dunn, Sioux Falls, SD; and countless other extended family members and friends.

She was preceded in death by her parents; her brother, Andrew Dodge; and her husband, Thomas Quinlivan.

In honor of Pat’s love of books and children, memorials may be directed to the Promising Futures Book-A-Month Club. Donations may be made online or by check sent to the Sioux Falls Area Community Foundation at The Depot at Cherapa Place, 200 N. Cherapa Pl., Sioux Falls, SD 57103.

A Celebration of Life will be held from 5:00–7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, October 6, 2026, at Miller Funeral Home, 7400 S. Minnesota Ave., Sioux Falls, SD 57108.